Let me start off by saying, I’m not a doctor, a nurse, or a scientist. I’m a Lutheran pastor and an athletic trainer. I weird combo, sure, but it’s a long story.

Most importantly, for the purposes of this blog, I’m a woman (sex and gender) who desperately wants to be a mom and it just hasn’t happened yet (as of Jan. 2026). My journey is my own, I don’t pretend to speak for others, but if there is anything I’ve noticed over the last 4.5 years of attempting to procreate - my story isn’t rare. In fact, it’s pretty damn common, especially for those of us hopeful parents over the age of 35.

But for as common as infertility is there is so much that we don’t talk about and that we are just expected to know. As someone who is an external processor and I like to write and I like to learn about what I am going through from an emotional to a scientific level. I thought maybe I wasn’t the only one thinking or feeling this way and that if I started a space where I can put my feelings I might make others feel like they can share their stories as well.

A little about me outside of my fertility status…

I’m 39 years old and have been happily married since I was 35. I was also happily single before meeting my wonderful husband! My journey to motherhood actually started when I was single, I had decided that I wanted to have a child whether I was partnered or not so I started the process of finding a sperm donor. I found one and was saving up the money needed and ended up meeting my now husband. Life is a funny thing.

We started trying to start our family immediately and within 6 months we knew something was up. Long story short - we have tried four rounds of IUI and two rounds of IVF and I’ve never held a positive pregnancy test in my hands. We are hoping to try IVF again and we are also in the process of becoming foster certified to start our adoption journey! In the meantime we are living life with our adorable dog, Idgie (pictured here as a puppy) and our three awesome cats, Charlie, Bear, and Jack.